Preschool Books About Feelings

Why it worksEach feeling gets a colour and its own jar, so a child who cannot say 'I am frustrated' can point at a colour instead - and after a few readings families start using the shorthand ('are you a bit grey today?') in real arguments.

Worth knowingIt teaches that feelings should be sorted and tidied away, which is a simplification worth being aware of.

Why it worksA die-cut heart shrinks and grows through the pages, so the child can see and touch how big the feeling is - and each emotion is described as a body sensation ('my heart feels like a fluttering bird'), which is what a three-year-old can actually notice in themselves.

Why it worksThe anger is drawn rather than explained - the outlines go red and orange and Sophie roars a red roar - and then she runs, climbs a tree and comes back when she is ready. It models leaving the room to cool down, which is a strategy a four-year-old can actually copy.

Why it worksA supermarket meltdown, described from the child's side - boring shop, no, not this, GAH - and then mama says she does not like shopping either and they tidy up together. It gives a toddler language for the feeling instead of a lecture about the behaviour.

Why it worksIt takes a child's rage seriously, gives it an island to run around on for three wordless spreads, and then brings him home to supper that is still hot - which is the only ending an angry four-year-old actually wants. The wild rumpus pages are where you put the book down and let them roar.

Worth knowingThe monsters frighten a good number of under-fours, and Max being sent to bed without supper reads as harsh to modern parents.

Why it worksEvery animal tells Jim Panzee to cheer up and he gets crosser with each one, until Norman just sits next to him in silence - the book's whole argument is that you are allowed to be in a bad mood for no reason. Parents find it changes how they respond, not just the child.

Why it worksLilly is magnificently, unapologetically horrible about the new baby - she tells him the alphabet is wrong on purpose - and only defends him when a cousin insults him. Older siblings recognise that exact contradiction in themselves and laugh instead of being told off.

Worth knowingLilly's behaviour is funny rather than punished; some parents would rather not hand a four-year-old the material.

Why it worksPeter runs away with his old chair because everything of his is being painted pink for the baby - it is about property and displacement, which is what the jealousy is actually about, not about loving the baby. He decides to give the chair up himself, which is why it lands.

Worth knowingQuiet 1960s pacing and period domestic detail; it needs an adult to slow down for it.

Why it worksElmore Green had everything to himself, and the new small person licks his sweets and touches his things in precisely the order that enrages an older sibling. The turn comes at night, in the dark, when the small person says something kind - it is earned rather than announced.

Worth knowingElmore's resentment runs across a lot of spreads, and under-fours lose the thread before the reconciliation arrives.

Why it worksTaylor's block tower is knocked down and every animal offers the wrong thing - shout about it, fix it, laugh it off - until the rabbit does nothing but stay. It gives a small child the language for 'I don't want to talk yet' and it is short enough to read in the middle of the upset.

Why it worksOne fish and a few words a page, naming the parts of grief that rarely make it into a children's book - not wanting to eat, not wanting to talk about it, wanting everyone to go away. At under two minutes it is the only bereavement book here you can read in the middle of a bad moment.

Worth knowingIt never names what was lost. That is deliberate and makes it flexible, but a child who wants the situation explained will not find it here.

Why it worksTwo zoo bears; one gets ill and dies partway through, and the book carries on afterwards - Gus is angry, then flat, then one day hears the city noises again. Showing the after is what makes it usable with a child who has already lost someone rather than one being prepared.

Worth knowingThe death happens on the page and is not softened. It is based on the real Central Park polar bears, which some parents want to know before they start.

Why it worksA dog's favourite ball is burst by another dog, and the grief is done entirely in brushstroke - Daisy drawn slack and low on an empty white page for two spreads before anything else happens. It is the only book here that gives a two-year-old a whole loss and a whole recovery without a single word to get in the way.

Worth knowingWordless, so there is nothing to read aloud. The two flat spreads after the ball bursts are meant to be sat with; hurrying past them is skipping the book.

Why it worksOne image does the whole job: a string of love running from your heart to everyone you miss, which stretches to an uncle who has died and equally to the nursery door at half past eight. Families end up using the phrase daily at drop-off long after the book goes back on the shelf.

Worth knowingIt mentions heaven, and the idea is restated rather than dramatised - some children experience it as a lesson rather than a story.

Why it worksGerald's 'GROAN!' gets bigger on every page until it fills the spread, so a child who cannot yet read still knows exactly how loud to be - and the wordless starfield payoff at the end lands even when they have seen it before.

Why it worksA caterpillar tries to metamorphose and cannot wait - 'IS IT TIME YET?' comes back over and over in enormous type while the other chrysalises hang there silently. It is a book about waiting that is genuinely funny about how bad small children are at it, and the shouting lines are the ones a child takes over.

Why it worksThe seed lists his own crimes cheerfully - he cuts in line, he stares, he never washes his hands - and the refrain 'I'm a bad seed' repeats until the reason arrives, which is that something sad happened to him. Then he decides to change and mostly manages it. A child who has been told they are being naughty gets to watch the label come off.

Why it worksThe egg who fixes everyone else's problems cracks - visibly, down his shell - and has to go away and do nothing for a while before he comes back. It is the mirror image of The Bad Seed and the pair read best back to back, because a child who thinks they are the good one gets a book too.

Why it worksPenelope Rex is nervous about her first day of school and then eats her classmates, repeatedly, because they are delicious - and the line 'we don't eat our classmates' has to be said by the teacher four separate times. She only stops when the class goldfish bites her and she finds out what being eaten feels like. Funniest first-day book in print.

Worth knowingThe joke needs a child old enough to know that eating people is not a real option. Under-fours sometimes take the goldfish bite literally.

Why it worksBeep-beep plus a different animal noise on nearly every spread, so a toddler who cannot talk in sentences can still perform half the book. The mud rescue gives it a plot, which is more than most animal-noise books manage.